Umm… OK. I understand the point of this post suggestion I think and, with little else to do, I may as well write it. It’s also ironically opposite to what I set my blog up for, but anyway…
*ASSUMPTION* I’m making no intention whatsoever to belittle or make light of any symptom of schizophrenia (talking to inanimate objects) or any other mental health issue . As a result of writing this post, I’ve donated £8 to Mind. According to their website, “this could allow one of their Mind Infoline advisers to answer someone’s call for help giving them information, reassurance and hope for the future”. If I was in that position, that’s what I would want. If you’re reading this, maybe you could also make a donation?
I guess we have to assume that the thing unable to read is also unable to hear or understand any language I can speak. It’s also a shame that they can’t reply. Cause I would be asking Moo (my cat) what his life was before he came to live with me. The vets didn’t know his back story and since I’ve got to know him properly there are parts of his behaviour that I want to understand, like why he drags his water dish across the room before having a drink or why he’s so nervous at sounds he doesn’t recognise when it’s just a heating pipe creaking.
But, you see, at least if I show something to Moo he knows that I’m trying to show it to him despite the fact that he won’t always know what it is or what to do with. Part of this post suggestion is inciting the writer to stand in front of an inanimate object with a letter or notice.
I would probably tell my chocolate fountain that I regret buying it. I’m not sure it’s been out the box. Honestly, why did I ever think that a chocolate fountain would be a reasonable purchase for anyone not having a party with a significant number people in attendance? Would that hurt it’s feelings? If it can suddenly read and understand English, surely it will get hurt.
I would tell my fireplace that blue isn’t its colour.
I would apologise to my car for not looking after its bodywork properly.
I would ask my grass to refrain from growing so quickly.
A lot of conversation usually happens with my work computer. I say “conversation”… It’s usually me angrily begging it to do more than not respond.
I guess that if the thing understands (and I’m not saying that I’m going to go home and have a deep and meaningful with my kitchen) then what’s to stop you talking?
We won’t get far
Flying in circles inside a jar,
Because the air we breathe
Is thinning with the words that we speak.
Codes and Keys by Death Cab for Cutie