I, at the time of writing, have no idea where I am except for the fact I’m half way up a hill and it’s hailstoning. (I’ll post the pictures when I can). Twenty minutes ago I had the car roof down and my sunglasses on. The irony of writing a post in response to today’s Prompt is that I actually have no internet connection at present!
I went for a drive. Last time I did this I came up with a plan to make a connection that never happened. Since that failure I have lost more connections than I was expecting in more than one way.
A connection is a funny thing. In the sense of LinkedIn it sounds rather sterile, but they are critical to how we work together. When we feel a connection with our work we’re more passionate about it. We seek that connection with our significant others and with our friends and with our colleagues. I still hope for a more substantial connection with Lovely Sarah From Starbucks other than giving her my drinks order, although I would rather it started when I first asked her out years ago than after her recent marriage! Gutting.
(Incidentally, and not that they’ll probably ever know considering that I got a no from both, I think I once also attempted to date Lovely Sarah From Starbucks’ older sister. I found out when she opened her own business using her surname. They must have good genes.)
I guess in the realm of love and dating my points about a connection can be more easily demonstrated.
A writer in The Guardian under the pseudonym Stella Grey wrote an article about her belief of the non-existence of that elusive “spark”. She’d been on a date with with a guy named Edward and admitted to there being “heaps” of compatibility but no spark.
People who won’t agree to a second date “because there was no spark” are … I hesitate to say they are idiots, but they are discounting something that could prove to be a slow burner.
And I would agree. If compatibility isn’t a spark to finding out more about how far a relationship can go, then what is? A connection has been established already by having common interests, likes and dislikes, the fact they love each others company – all things that could readily integrate each party into each other’s lives. To not test the strength of the connection on the back of that sounds like a waste, especially when it’s at the stage of the relationship where the only physical part is that immediate attraction.
(At this stage – bonus points for who can tell me the relevance of the featured image! Comment below.)
A connection can grow. Even if there is that nonsense of a spark over the first coffee, not many people fall instantly in love. It’s something that they get to from learning and building and finding out everything there is to know.
I find it interesting that some people attach so much weight to something that they can’t even define that they can discount potential without the full picture. If it could be defined, why say “spark” rather than the quality that was missing?
I’ve mentioned before that at school I was the person you’d want to marry rather than the person you’d want to date. I’ve also mentioned before that I am more often than not fobbed off with “you seem a really lovely guy but…“. I’ve twice been the subject of “we’d be better as friends” by someone who was a friend and someone who wasn’t at the time. All these excuses indicate that, within the relationship (however tenuous that was at the time) there was a connection, just not a willingness to test its strength.
Perhaps I should bring this back in to the work arena to make more sense. I am currently attempting to implement a system with a three letter acronym that isn’t the ABC that I’m going to use. I’ve been a big advocate of ABC since I first saw it. I noticed it because I searched for something that broadly did what I needed it to do – I thought she had a lovely bum and even more lovely smile. ABC looked to be what I was looking for on the face of it, so I read some reviews and there looked to be potential – we had common interests. I then decided to explore ABC more by getting demonstrations of its full functionality – we went on a few dates. I continued to like what I saw so we got serious and I bought ABC for a lot of money – we started calling ourselves an item.
What I didn’t do was find ABC on Google, notice it appeared to a great fit and go “Meh, I reckon we just leave it” right at the start. In the work environment, that would have been negligent of me. Why is it any less so with personal relationships?
I couldn’t extend the ABC metaphor any further cause it’s now taken all my money (literally and metaphorically) and is likely to leave me without a job sooner than I expected (literally and metaphorically) cause it turns out that all its mates who said it was amazing were actually liars. We’re getting the lawyers involved.
At the moment just I’m hoping that there isn’t a connection between my arse and the snow under my feet!
This is a call to arms
Time to go to war
This is a battle song
Brothers and sisters
Time to go to war
Did you ever believe?
Were you ever a dreamer?
Ever imagine a heart open and free?
Here we are at the start
I can feel the beating of our hearts
Here we are at the start
Vox Populi by 30 Seconds To Mars