The Borrowed Chainsaw Incident

Now, I’m generally not trusted with DIY.  I actually think this is slightly unfair because, while I might not be the best, I’m actually not that bad at what I’ve been allowed to do on my own.  Most of the concern is that I do quite readily injure myself, although I hope I wouldn’t quite be as bad as when my friend’s father once borrowed a chainsaw.

The story goes that there was a fallen tree in the father’s garden that needed breaking up.  He borrowed the chainsaw in an effort to make the job easier, as the alternative was using a manual saw.  The job was done and the chainsaw was returned to its owner by a father with a reasonable sized cut to the centre of his forehead.

Turns out that, when taking a wholly unnecessary backswing with the chainsaw, my friend’s father had caught himself in the head while the chain was moving.  At least everything was well lined up and, in this instance, the chainsaw was probably the right tool for the job even if its operator wasn’t.

When my uncle and my Dad were re-wiring my grandmother’s house, they needed to make a small cut in a roof beam.  My Dad asked my uncle if he could borrow a hammer and chisel (it was that size of cut).  My uncle returned to the loft of the house with his own (not borrowed) chainsaw, made the incision in the beam and consequently filled the loft with exhaust fumes.  The operator was OK, but it was the wrong tool for the job.

I actually take solace in these two stories because, while I might cut my hand making toast, I haven’t yet done anything quite this stupid!  And although I’m not be the best person to replace the bathroom light fittings it’s sometimes nice to know that at least I’m not the worst at something and that sometimes (just sometimes) I might actually be the right tool for the job.

Well, I can’t dance
And I can’t sing
I ain’t that smart
But I can lift really heavy things.
When it come to lovin’
Honey, mama,
I’m the one you want
Well, I may not be the best lookin’
But I’m the right tool for the job

I love my house
I love my dog
I love my little sweetheart girl

Skinny legs and all
When it comes to trouble bustin’
Mama, I’m the one you want
Well, I may not be the best lookin’
But I’m the right tool for the job

Right Tool For The Job by David Lee Roth


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