The Cinema Stairway To Disappointment

Most of the stories I have that feature a stairway involve people getting hurt.

  • The back injury I wrote about yesterday was the result (I think) of me missing the bottom step of my stairway on my first day back at work in 2015.
  • Apparently the first time I ever laughed hysterically was the time my brother bounced down the stairway at our first house, on his head.
  • At work they invested a lot of money in stickers for handrails and signs telling is to hold said handrail, but I know someone who dislocated her shoulder by taking that too far and not letting go when she fell on the stairs.

It was 8 years ago that I went to the cinema with a friend.  (That sentence sounds like I haven’t done that activity since and hadn’t before either).  We’d been to get something to eat first which was a bit of an embarrassment as she is a tiny blonde girl and I’m a big tall male, but when we go to Nando’s she gets the hottest thing on the menu and adds more hot things to it whereas they can’t make their food bland enough for me.  They always assume the hot food is for me.  It’s emasculating.

Anyway.  We’d spent too long eating and drinking so ended up going to see a showing of the absolutely awful The Golden Compass at something like 23.30.  There’s obviously that walkway as you walk in to the screen and beside that was the stairway up to the top row.  In the top corner of the cinema, there were a few seats largely hidden being beside the stairs and above the walkway.

We walked in and thought the cinema was empty so sat down right in the middle of it.  After all, who in their right mind would really be watching that film at that time other than us?  Turns out the answer to that question was a couple of lovebirds hidden in the aforementioned top corner of the cinema who, judging by the audible groans as we walked in, weren’t necessarily planning on watching Lyra Belacqua journey to the far North to save her best friend and other kidnapped children from terrible experiments by a mysterious organization.

Turns out it wasn’t the Stairway to Heaven they were hoping for! (Or at least I don’t think it was; they were very quiet if it was).  For the first time in my life, I’d disappointed someone without even trying!

Here I am just longing for you once again,
If your arms would only let me in,
You’d see the mess I’m in,
I have dreamed your heart will come and rescue me,
Oh baby set me free,
Only your love can win,

You are only a heartbeat away,
Baby and my love one day will find you it will remind you,
When it comes your way oh when it comes your way.

Here I am my heart in the palm of your hand,
Your every wish is my command,
Darling understand,
If I live a lie,
Then all my dreams are doomed to die,
Oh baby just let me try,
To have my heart’s desire.

You are only a heartbeat away,
Baby and my love one day will find you it will remind you,
When it comes your way oh when it comes your way,
Ooh but my feelings are in vain,
Just like feelings they won’t go away,
My love remains,
In my heart we’ll always stay.

Heartbeat by Steps

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