Conspiracy Theories Clear Clouds

Last week The Daily Express published an article titled “Bizarre clouds over Large Hadron Collider ‘prove portals are opening'”.  That is if you are incined to believe the latest conspiracy theory surrounding the monster machine.

lch-3-578190

The scientists at CERN had just stated a new experiment called “Awake”.  The aim of the experiment, I understand, was to reduce the size of the Large Hadron Collider.  The narrator of the video has his doubts that this is the true reason for the experiment.

“What portals and doors are being opened in this cloud?” asks the narrator.  Some of the conspiracy theories about CERN have included that it is being used as a portal to allow Satan to return to Earth.

There’s a guy at work who loves a good conspiracy theory.  It doesn’t have to be anything big like Roswell or who shot JFK. His conspiracy theories include things like the government putting speed bumps or chicanes in roads for the purpose of increasing vehicle fuel consumption, thus increasing the amount of the tax they receive.

I was talking to someone the other day about what I called a conspiracy theory, but in truth it wasn’t – it was just me taking a number of seemingly unrelated coincidences and adding them altogether to come up with an excellent story.

It’s a bit like the fuel thing my colleague talks about. About the time that petrol prices were going through the roof, he noticed more traffic calming measures being constructed. It was also summer when, he reckons, more people drive long distances.

Fuel prices are normally dictated by supply and demand and other “political” factors. Traffic calming is normally put near schools to stop people being killed by un-necessary SUVs by getting the vehicle to stop and start and therefore keep speed low. Put those two things together and you could infer that there is something going on.

Studies have shown that your average person seems worryingly susceptible to conspiracy theories. There are many possible reasons for this, such as how humans seem inclined toward Pareidolia (a tendency to see patterns and shapes in random occurrences). There are numerous factors that can affect how readily you believe in conspiracy theories, but no real strong indicator, so it could be any one.

Some people may believe in conspiracy theories simply because they are comforting.  The theories help the theorists explain something that they might not otherwise know enough about.

About 6 weeks ago I concocted a story, kind of out of hope more than anything else. I’d noticed a few things happening and grouped it with a little bit of experience and a little bit of knowledge and came up with a conclusion. Because of it’s convenience, I kind of believed it and didn’t all at the same time. I even told someone that I thought it was just what I wanted to see.

Then, by a strange quirk of fate, a picture appeared on Twitter. It was a retweet of a retweet, so was quite distant from where it originated. The purpose of the picture was not to confirm my story – anything but. There was, however, a tiny detail that I noticed that did just that. It made me wonder how much of the story I came up with because it’s what I wanted to see was actually true.

Gut instinct and all that again.  When should you believe what you think, and when is Satan actually landing in Switzerland, the Country of Neutrality?

When I was young
I never knew
what this thing called love
could do to you.
But since you been gone
and I’ve been on my own,
I’ve been feeling quite peculiar.
But I’ll get by without your smile.
I’ll get through without you.

But I wish it was me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose.
Cause Elvis ain’t dead
and you’re coming back.
And Elvis ain’t dead
and you’re coming back.
Oh!

Since you been gone
I can do what I like,
but it doesn’t mean a lot to me.
I’m all shook up
and I’m lonesome tonight.
I think I need a lot of lobotomy
but I’ll get by without your smile.
I’ll get through without you.

But I wish it was me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose.
Cause Elvis ain’t dead
and you’re coming back.
And Elvis ain’t dead
and you’re coming back.
Oh no, oh no, oh no.

You,
Me.
Maybe we we’re never meant to be.

Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead
cause I heard him on the radio.

Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead
and you’re coming back to me I know.

Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead.
Yes, I heard him on the radio.

Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead.
Elvis isn’t dead.

Me you chose,
I wish it was me you chose.
I wish it was me you chose.
Cause Elvis ain’t dead
and you’re coming back.
And Elvis ain’t dead
and you’re coming back.

And Elvis ain’t dead.
And Elvis ain’t dead.
And Elvis ain’t dead.
And Elvis ain’t dead.

Elvis has left the building.
Thank you and good night.

Elvis Ain’t Dead by Scouting For Girls

Comments 1

  1. Liberty Henwick

    Poor Switzerland, how did they get to be the ‘unchosen’ nation!! 😀 It’s surprising to me that this guy looks at our present world and thinks it’s so perfect that Satan couldn’t possibly be here already wreaking havoc. Or maybe he blames God?

Leave A Comment?