The Logistics Of A Mermaid’s Make-Up

Monday started off much the same as something I mentioned last week regarding feelings I don’t want to have.  I got a missed call from a friend on Monday lunchtime.  It wasn’t actually a missed call.  As he pointed out, with an Apple Watch most of my body vibrates when someone rings.  I just couldn’t answer it.

I got my phone out my pocket and opened the phone book.  Her name is at the top if it, courtesy of her initials.  I saw her name and my brain said “Let’s send her a message and talk later”.  It’s the most disappointing thing knowing that I can’t, but I don’t understand all the subconscious stuff that’s happening.

I decided to watch a series of five short films called Call Me Crazy on Thursday night.  They were about mental health and dealing with mental health.  I watched the first two stories and they were brilliant, but I’m not sure I could have watched all 5 together because they were a bit emotional!

I’d actually recorded these films to watch with the person I didn’t want to be thinking about.  Presumably this is why she appeared in one of those quasi-dreams you have when you’re falling asleep.  I was thinking about something I was going to be doing over the weekend and Dream Brain wandered in to taking a selfie with friends, and one of them was her.

The irony / coincidence of today is that it’s exactly the one year anniversary of the time I first thought she maybe wanted us to be more.  We’d been to see Butch Walker in Manchester and I’m sure there was a moment when we sat down to have a drink at the venue after the show.  This started the ramp up of my brain going “You’re making it up, if that’s what she wanted she’d just do something about it herself.”


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Also on Monday was that thing about time flying when you’re having fun.  I got up to go for a drink (well, actually it was to go for a pee, but you didn’t need to do that) and looked at the time.  It was 16.21, and I thought it would have been about 2pm.  I’d been researching and doing some stuff out of interest rather than being dictated to by my e-mails and the time had just flown.

I noticed the difference in the time when working from home on Friday.  Not having to commute buys me extra sleep.  It also means that if I’m still combing my hair at 8.15 in the morning I’m not stressed, rather than worrying that I’m going to be late.  The whole thing is just more relaxing.

I bought a macro lens for my camera.  It’s a Nikkor AF-S DX Micro 40mm f/2.8G, for anyone who is interested.  This is probably the reason I wanted a decent camera – to be able to take photos of small things and make them look big.  Stop sniggering.

Here’s a picture of Ariel.  I wasn’t sure what to do with a background.  I’m still debating making a lightbox, here she’s actually just sat (on a normal box) in front of my computer screen displaying a wallpaper.  I think it works quite well and I’m relatively pleased.  Ideally her face wouldn’t be as shiny as her hair, but I’m not sure about the logistics of mermaid make-up or how to stop shiny objects reflecting so much light.

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She was supposed to be Buzz Lightyear.  I’d done some searching and some feeling and was fairly confident I had Buzz in the my blind bag.  I even checked the identification code on the bottom of the packet, which is cheating but it backed up my assertion that I had Buzz.  I wouldn’t say I’m disappointed to have got Ariel, but I was a bit surprised.

What have I done on this blog that you may have missed.  I’ve written a couple of posts in the aftermath of Britain voting to very much become an island and split away from the EU; one was thinking about who really made their point, and the other looking at possible divisions in the country.  I wrote a few posts about words.  One was about contronyms and the other about saying what you mean.  And let’s not forget about physicists summoning Satan and other people having fun.

I come up for air
But I still can’t breathe
And I still can’t see
My hands in front of me
And I’d tell you if I did
But I don’t feel free
And I just can’t be living a life that you cut out for me

I look up to the sky with salt in my eyes
And a pain in my chest
Holding me down as I’m washing away what you said
But I won’t be holding my breath

Your love comes in waves
Don’t you ever wonder what it feels like?
Under water feeling low
Until you see why
Never knowing if you’re drifting away
Your love comes in waves
I toss and I turn and I fall and I rise
It’s sink or it’s swim
Getting caught up in your riptide

And it’s rising in the air
The tension speaks
My reflection sees
All that I had tried not to believe

I look up to the sky with tears in my eyes
And a pain in my chest
Beating the life from the only good thing I had left
I won’t be holding my breath

Your love comes in waves
Don’t you ever wonder what it feels like?
Under water feeling low
Until you see white
Never knowing if we’re drifting away
You love comes in waves
I toss and I turn and I fall and I rise
It’s sink or it’s swim
Getting caught up in your riptide
Feeling low until you see white
Getting caught up in your riptide

Your love comes in waves (your love comes in waves)
Don’t you ever wonder what it feels like? (feels like)
Under water feeling low
Until you see white (until you see white)
Never knowing if we’re drifting away
You love comes in waves
I toss and I turn and I fall and I rise
It’s sink or it’s swim
Getting caught up in your riptide

Waves by Tonight Alive

 

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