It’s About The Destination, Not The Journey

In one of my favourite songs of his, Frank Turner, sings:

Well, a teacher of mine once told me
That life was just a list of disappointments and defeats
And you could only do your best.
And I said, “Well, that’s a fucking cop-out, you’re just washed up and you’re tired,
And when I get to your age, well, I won’t be such a coward.”

It’s with the same sentiment that I place “it’s all about the journey, not about the destination”.  It’s a great turn of phrase for those who have and are happy with their achievements and the hand that life has dealt, but not so great for the have nots who are just being consoled in to thinking that you’re always getting something.

This might be true, but if I want to marry Delta Goodrem I’m going to be disappointed when I don’t achieve that, irrespective of a trip to Australia to find her and learning all those lessons on the way about how I do or don’t deal with (if we keep with the theme of a journey and a destination) long haul flights and jet lag.

Afterwards I’ll be left disappointed at further rejection, feeling hurt and demoralised.

“Oh, but you’ll learn from that disappointment,” someone will say over text message as they’re cuddling their loved one in front of a log fire as the children play with their two huskies, Derek and Finley, in the snow outside.  “It’s about the journey, not…”

“Sorry, but you can shut (the ****) up right there.  I had one shot.  There’s only one Delta and I’ve failed.  I may have learnt a lesson but I had one opportunity and I’ve missed it.  Something I wanted so badly simply, now, cannot happen.”

That applies with everything except death.  As I noted in a post from 2002 when my grandmother died, the thing about death is that you, as the dead person have no idea, how well you’ve done it.  You can’t look back and say, “Actually, I regret wearing by underpants with the hole in.  Had I have known someone was going to dress my body in the next few days I might have gone for a different pair.  Please could I have another go?”.

In the post about my grandmother, I mention that the only people who learn anything from the death are those left behind and that what normally makes them bereft is what might have been, either in life or in the future.

While I think it’s a cop-out saying that it’s all about the journey and not the destination, a destination is only that if a journey of some sort has taken place and the destination needs to be there as motivation to start.  The journey is important, but the most important part is starting in it and, also, sometimes ending it.

Just a small town girl
Livin’ in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin’ anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train
Goin’ anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
The smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlight people
Livin’ just to find emotion
Hidin’ somewhere in the night

Workin’ hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin’ anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win
Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlight people
Livin’ just to find emotion
Hidin’ somewhere in the night

Don’t stop believin’
Hold on to that feelin’
Streetlight people
Don’t stop believin’
Hold on
Streetlight people
Don’t stop believin’
Hold on to that feelin’
Streetlight people

Don’t Stop Beleivin’ by Journey

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