I was left somewhat angered by the news from Australia, but reported globally, that squat toilets have been installed in the new Australian Tax Office in Melbourne.
A squat toilet is basically (by the looks of) a normal toilet recessed in to the floor meaning its user does not sit on it as much as squat over it. This is a picture of one complete with handheld bidet because, presumably, there doesn’t look to be the convenience of occasional splash back.
Apparently they’ve been installed to cater for a more “diverse” and “non-English speaking” workforce. Because, quite obviously, the language you speak affects the manner in which you poop.
Pauline Hanson, founder of the One Nation Party said:
The question I pose is: if they can’t work out how to use a westernised toilet, how are they expected to work out our tax system and give advice to ordinary Australians?
This response sums up a general feeling of political correctness gone just that step to far, but that isn’t the only point of interest that has been raised.
Hanson also says that these toilets could destroy the “Australian way of life” suggesting that her country defines itself not on its culture, heritage, politics or natural beauty, but how its people take a sh*t.
The Daily Mail (yes, yes, I know) interviewed Vincent Ho, a gastroenterologist from Western Sydney University, who claims that squatting is actually a more efficient way of pooping. They provide a lot of science, but basically think of it as a squat position straightening your bowel and relaxing the necessary muscles more effectively than sitting.
However, I think all this furore is missing one of the main issues here.
A work place lavatory is not simply where one goes to relieve themselves. It is a place of rest and relaxation and, sometimes, sleep. It is a happy place away from colleagues. A place for social media engagement or gaming on smart phones. It is a wondrous place where one can sit in mostly quiet reflection without necessarily having to have their pants pulled up, or a place where one can sit and read a second hand newspaper.
I feel that the Australian Tax Office are not catering to the Politically Correct Brigade with the installation of squat toilets, but are rather robbing their employees of some of the best time they will spend in their office. That truly is an outrage.
Green sally up
And green sally down
Lift and squat
Gotta tear the ground
Old miss lucy’s dead and gone
Left me here to weep and moan
Flower by Moby