Dare To Get Disappointed

Hey, if we were having a coffee this week it might be more like a counselling session.

I don’t like to think of myself as a pessimist.  It’s a cop out to say that I’m a realist, but I tend to be happier working things out on the balance of probabilities than putting faith in an intangible to believe that something will or will not happen.  I hope that makes sense when I say the next bit.

I can’t always think about what I have to offer in situations.  This isn’t an issue of self-worth or self-confidence, it’s an issue of difference.  I may as well fill this post with cliches as more are coming, but there’s that one about being a Jack of all trades but a master of none.

We used to joke about it when I was playing football regularly that, for my team, I was third choice in every position.  Whereas my teammates would have a main position and could play in a couple of others but there were some you definitely wouldn’t put them in, I had a position I enjoyed playing but could play to the same standard at any other position on the pitch, meaning that I was the only player to play as a goalkeeper, on both sides of defence and midfield, central defence, central midfield and as a striker all in the same season.

Because of that, I sometimes see things happening to other people and wonder why it can’t happen to me, before realising that it must be that they have some sort of spark that I don’t.  Rather than just being average across the board, they great at somethings and bad at others and that makes them more worthy of a chance.

I’ve said all that because this week I’ve had a feeling about something and have built up a story in my head which is likely to end in disappointment.  To try and put two more cliches in to one sentence that doesn’t entirely work, some people say “dare to dream” but for me the light at the end of the tunnel has, more often than not, been a speeding train.

Getting too excited about something is not something I relish, because that often leads to disappointment. 

Now that’s out the way… I went to see the neurosurgeon this week about my back.  My latest scans were back and his advice is just to start some light exercise and see where it goes.  There was a flier advertising beginner yoga sessions near me in Starbucks this morning so I’m going to check that out too.

I went to the match today with a friend who has done a refereeing course.  I didn’t realise how accessible they were, so I might do that as well when they’re available.

It was a fun match, Liverpool v Watford.  It ended 6-1 to Liverpool but there was a time in the first half when I thought it just wasn’t going to happen.  Liverpool missed so many good chances before eventually opening the scoring.

Three new Pokémon this week.  All evolutions, none of them amazing! That is 122 in the Pokédex though.

Hope you’ve had a good week.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
“Why am I doing this to myself?”
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no…

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart.
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [11x])

Brushing my hair—do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!
The more I try the less it’s working, yeah
‘Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no…

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart.
But tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
There’s nothing wrong with who you are!

Yes, no, egos, fake shows, like whoa!
Just go and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile that’s my home!
That’s my home, no…

No, no, no, no, no…

Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay…
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart.
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are!

Who You Are by Jessie J

 

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