Set In Tone

I’ve said before on this blog that I don’t often lose my temper.  You may also have noticed that I do get grumpy and I do get angry, but I tend not to rant and rave in person.

What I do, though, is sometimes adopt a rather tart tone.  It’s not generally what I say, either, just the way in which I say it.  Any negative retort to a question asked, when said in an abrupt tone, sounds far more sinister than it is intended to be.

While it isn’t really what I say, it’s important to note that people are generally more aware of tone than content anyway, so using a tart tone can encourage others to do likewise and, as we know, two wrongs don’t make a right.  However, I’m also not saying here that one should go the other way.  It feels fairly obvious to say that we’re better communicators when we hit the middle ground.

So where’s the interesting bit for me personally with this?  For me, that lies in communication that is written – either text or e-mail in the modern world.  With the written word, tone can only be inferred from what the recipient knows of the sender and the context in which it was sent.

I don’t lose my temper often, and I actually don’t fall out with people often yet, when I did, it was often a result of written communication and the fallout went like this:

“But it wasn’t my intention to say it in that way.”

“I know it wasn’t, but that’s the way you made me feel.”

To this day, I still can’t work out how to get around that, especially when (as an example) one of the arguments started with “I’m going to go sit outside in the cold again tonight”.

I think how people to react to a tone which they have to infer actually says more about them than the other person, and there are probably lessons to be learnt there if that person is open to self-assessment and self-improvement.  And even being able to recognise our own town is highly beneficial to ourselves.  If we can notice when we’re getting short and abrupt, we can start looking about why we’re upset about it and be constructive.

I hate having arguments.  I hate the arguments most when they mean I haven’t spoken to someone who was my best friend for nearly a year and I know I shouldn’t probably still blog about that but for some reason I’ve been missing her more recently than I should do.  In that sort of instance, taking the positives doesn’t really help, but being able to learn is always a good thing.

The day, you move, I’m probably gonna explode
It’s true, I’m probably gonna explo-oh-oh-oh-oooh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-ooh
You’ll pray, for proof, I’m probably makin’ this up
It’s true, I’m probably makin’ this u-uh-uh-uh-ooh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-ooh
Because…

My body is your body
I won’t tell anybody
If you wanna use my body
Go for it, yeah
My body is your body
I won’t tell anybody
If you wanna use my body
Go for it, yeah
Go for it, yeah

If no-one moves, then nobody’s gonna get hurt
Don’t move, ’cause nobody wants to get hu-uh-uh-uh-ooh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-ooh
We’ll pray, for proof, I’m probably makin’ this up
It’s true, I’m probably makin’ this u-uh-uh-uh-ooh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-ooh
Because…

My body is your body
I won’t tell anybody
If you wanna use my body
Go for it, yeah
My body is your body
I won’t tell anybody
If you wanna use my body
Go for it, yeah
Go for it, yeah

Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt by We Are Scientists

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