Parking Like Clowns

I’m not the best person at parking a car, especially if it requires the use of reverse gear.  That’s one of the reasons why I have a convertible – it’s easier to see all around the car with the roof down.  When it comes to my parking, I operate on tennis rules.  That’s to say that if it’s on the line, it’s in the space.

There was a story in the news yesterday about a guy who parked on the white line in a car park, taking up two spaces.


Now, I suppose that there isn’t really anything special about this.  We all know why he’s done it – in the hope that no-one will prang their own car doors in to his pride and joy.

I’ve been there.  Two cars ago I had a massive dent right under a wing mirror.  I can’t have been caused by a door (which would have hit the mirror first) but I think probably someone putting a bag over their shoulder.  My parent’s have had a door opened in to their car causing a crease in the bodywork.  And it sucks if your car is a big deal to you.

However, the owner of the car, a guy called Luke Varley, decided to go on the offensive when questioned about said parking despite saying that criticism was “water off a duck’s back”.  My Varley said that white-lining the space was because of the “amount of clowns who can’t park or drive”.

What struck me was that he is actually relying on the other drivers being capable of parking because if they did not park within the white lines themselves, they would still be close to his car putting it at risk.  He is has actually relied on them not being a clown who can’t park, which just makes him look like the bad one.

What he actually meant was that he was protecting his car from people who might be able to park and drive but have their car door caught by a gust of wind, or lose grip on the handle, or knock the door as they’re getting out, because most people don’t do this on purpose.

Mr Varley did initially come out to say that he would have parked properly if the car park was busy and that he wouldn’t inconvenience people with kids who were disabled.  If he had stuck to defending himself, rather than having a go at other people, it might have been OK.  As it happens, I now just think he’s a bit of a clown himself.

Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you

Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealers Wheel



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