Motivation And Lack Thereof


So, if we were having a coffee this week, what would we be talking about?  It’s hard really not to say; not because I don’t want to be talkative but because I seem to be in a state of limbo until things come to a head regarding my work situation.

Life outside of work us carrying on pretty much as normal.  My training plan is beginning to put a bit of a strain in my back despite the gradual build up I was doing.  It’s weird though, because stretching out does make it considerably better, but stretching twice a day doesn’t appear to be enough for long term benefit.  I’ll keep plodding along with it for now.

I’m enjoying the exercise.  I enjoy experimenting with diets and routines and stuff like that to see what they do.  A few years ago I got the fat loss thing down to a tee.  I’m not overweight, but I can be prone to carry a bit more fat than I’d like and, as I say, I’ve worked out how to get down to 10-11% body fat.  I’ve also learnt how to get stronger.  What I’ve struggled with, though, is putting on weight, so at the moment I’m allowing myself to eat everything as long as I’m getting decent amounts of protein regularly.

Another thing I enjoyed this week was a song.  In particular, Under Pressure originally by Queen and Bowie but the one I was listening to (which some will deem sacrilege) was by The Used and My Chemical Romance.  I remember during music lessons at school we had to listen pieces of music and interpret its meaning based on tone, scales, the ups and downs and the instruments used.  While I was listening to Under Pressure it kind of feels like the perfect song in how it builds and how everything works together in a package.  Some artists say how they write lyrics or melodies and add the other part to it.  This song feels like both parts were done together.

I guess I should probably mention work.  It’s a bit of a struggle getting motivated at the moment.  When news of my departure was e-mailed to the whole business someone said that, if they were me, they’d be getting signed off with stress and not coming in again.

The thought crossed my mind, but it also doesn’t feel like the right thing to do.  However, getting up to go in on time is difficult! I wandered in late the other morning and one of the people also going tapped his watch and said (jokingly), “What time do you call this?”

“I don’t know,” I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.  “About 9.15?”

It’s not that I don’t care, though, which brings me on to my other story.  One of the three new jobs I was given before Christmas is boring, dull as dishwasher, stupidly fiddly and perhaps most importantly, non-aspirational.  I followed an instructions document I was given but it turns out they were wrong.  Every time I get something wrong on this job I keep getting told, “You can ask for help.”  I can tell the frustration in the e-mail everytime I get it, because I made a mistake before Christmas too due to the lack of training, supervision, hand over, whatever you’d like to call it.  The work was just dumped on me.

So having got another e-mail saying “ask for help if you aren’t sure,” I decided it was time to say something back.  I pointed out that the three sources of instruction I had since being told I got it wrong were all inconsistent, meaning I could never have got it right by anyone.  I then suggested that someone who does know reviews the 113 page document of instructions for their correctness and then I would review it for understanding.

Oddly, considering how willing some people have been to escalate issues and be rather demeaning, that one seemed to finally strike a chord.  Explaining to people that you’re doing as you’re told and that you understand the wrong instructions is fine, but that sometimes it’s up to the people who actually know what they’re doing to step-up when they don’t want to do it anymore.

Having got that off my chest it’s been an easier week, so that was probably a success.

I’ve still had recurrences this week of just thinking things should be happening that can’t.  Thinking I should be going somewhere, talking to someone.

In other news for my regulars, you may have noticed last week that there were no new Pokémon! There are still no new ones this week I’m afraid!  That’s because all I’m missing (other than the regionals) is a Dragonite and Elekid.  You can only hatch the latter so that’s luck of the draw and busy walking a Dratini at the moment do that I can evolve the former.  I’m at 117 candies, which means I need to walk another 40km which I reckon will take me 8 more days.

Anyway, with that I bid you farewell for another week.

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