My Election Manifesto

With the General Election a week away, I thought it was about time that I launched my Would-Be Manifesto.  Here are my 5 points.

Anything that isn’t a car, a van, a bus or a bike (with or without an engine) isn’t allowed on the road between 8 and 9am and 5 and 6pm.  I’ll make an exception for fire engines on the assumption that ambulances can be classed as vans anyway.  The other exception is that all vehicles will be allowed to use the motorway at any time.  This is an attempt to keep traffic moving in the morning, thus reducing stress before work has even started and allowing people to get away from the damned place faster in the evenings.

Also on the motoring theme, I’d reduce tax on petrol.  I’d obviously need to work out where else to put it to hit the cheapest cost avoider.  The thinking behind this one is that distribution costs for goods will be lower so products should be cheaper encouraging people to spend.  Alongside a push to cap rail prices and make them proportional to the distance of the journey, it should get people out and about.

Free Pizza And Doughnut Friday.  Because everyone should have the opportunity to eat pizza and doughnuts on a Friday.

I would make ghosting a criminal offence, punishable by a fine payable a mental health charity and 3 hours of the previously missing conversation.  Everyone deserves the dignity of proper and reasonable communication.

Job Seeker Allowance is only payable weekly to those claiming it if they can prove that they have applied for a job that week.  The job applied for needs to be reasonable (I would draft rules for this).  Income Support would be abolished but specific grants, benefits and subsidies would remain.  No benefits would be paid in cash, but via a mechanism that means reasonable expenses are paid on behalf of the claimant.  This is aimed at getting scroungers to do something constructive with their time.

And, because this is my manifesto and I can have a 6th, anything that is billed will have the price standardised.  Electric, water, gas, phone bills, broadband – all the same price for the same thing.  This will drive companies to make their profit by making their services better.  Those with the best service will survive and grow, while those who are rubbish will disappear.


I’m going to admit, I don’t know a great deal about politics.  I like to keep a wandering eye on things that affect me directly, but my annoyance with politicians is often greater than my interest in policy.  So if I was in power I’d also like to hope that the opposition is there to moot and debate policies to come up with the best solution for everybody, rather than it just being point scoring.

What would you do, if only you had the chance to govern the country?


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