The Rubbish Chemtrail Conspiracy

You know how sometimes you read a story and the only reaction you can think of is, “What?”

I think that everyone reading this will have seen a plane in the sky.  Behind it come what I always called vapour trails, but which I now believe to be called “chemtrails”.

While amusing myself in the Daily Express’ Weird news section (part of their website where they put things that should be front page news but for the fact it’s all made up) I came across the article today that says that there are conspiracy theories around these chemtrails.

The first one, backed by scientific luminaries including Prince (presumably when he was alive, rather than from beyond the grave, or maybe he isn’t really dead.  There you go, Express) and Chuck Norris says that the trails are actually chemicals that are dispersed to assist with population mind control.

One would say, given recent events, that they’re not working very well.  So on to the next theory from Dane Wigington, a solar energy expert and former employee of Bechtel Power Corp, who now runs  Winginton’s revelation is that the trails are the planes dispersing aerosols to stop global warming.

Now, I had to read this again just to make sure I wasn’t making a mistake.  Alas, no.  Apparently scientists are trying to mimic what happens when volcanos erupt and things get a bit colder for a while by using planes.

Wingington said:

Geoengineering programs are radically disrupting weather patterns, disrupting the hydrological cycle (causing drought in some areas, flooding others), destroying the ozone layer, and contaminating the entire planet with the toxic fallout from these atmospheric spraying operations.

All available data indicates that the ongoing global geoengineering programs are mathematically the greatest single assault against the web of life ever launched by the human race.

That, to me, begs the obvious questions.  If it’s not working and it is doing all this damage, do we not give said scientists enough credit in maybe thinking that they wouldn’t carry on after decades and decades of trying, especially if the results are so catastrophic?  Or, if they are working even to an extent, scientists might have published what’s going on to take a little bit of positive credit for it?

Or maybe, just maybe, they’re making up fun stories.

I put ketchup on my scrambled eggs
And everybody thinks it’s funny
I don’t get mad
I don’t laugh cause you don’t shave your legs
But everybody thinks it’s funny

No need to get mad
I don’t spend my time with anyone
Who doesn’t think I’m wonderful
Or somewhat cash refundable at times

Now I’m out here counting airplanes
Trying to make sense of the change
And I don’t wanna be just anybody
So don’t try to figure me out
I won’t try to figure you out

I don’t wanna be some average anybody
Now I got friends that ride into the storm
And ride out of the storm with nothing
They rode into the storm with

And there seems to be a price for everything
You get what you pay for then you pay for
What you already thought you bought before

When you’re up between the new sky line
The city lights and the warm sunshine
It’s a long way down
When you can count on one hand what you love
And can count on who you love to help you on your long way down

You end up counting airplanes
Trying to keep up with these changes
I don’t wanna be with anybody else
So don’t try to figure me out
I won’t try to figure you out
I don’t wanna be some average anybody

Counting Airplanes by Train

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