The Allegedly Magical Penis

The latest magnet being used to attract visitors to the Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities, Fine Art & Natural History is a 7 inch 18th century erection.

And when I say “erection”, I do mean a penis.  Yes, it had managed to stay hard for hundreds of years.

The penis in question was removed from a man after he was hanged.  Apparently it’s not uncommon for men to develop and erection and even “release their seed”, a bit like why some like asphyxiation as part of a, well, I was going to call it “regular” sexual practice because one would hope not to end up dead after the sort of thing I was thinking of.

It’s known as Angel Lust and is apparently caused by increased pressure on the cerebellum from the noose.

The book The Evaluation of Sexual Disorders: Psychological and Medical Aspects notes:

Men subjected to capital punishment by hanging and laboratory animals sacrificed with cervical dislocation have terminal erections. The implication is that either central inhibition of erection is released and erection created or that a sudden massive spinal cord stimulus generates an erectile response. There is ample experimental and clinical evidence to support the former supposition.

So, that’s the how, but why? Body parts were collected for magical properties but, I’m sorry, I’m just not buying that! For it to be magical, surely you have to do something with it, and that’s worth delving in to a dead man’s filled pants to remove his member for?

I know that we can all have some weird reasons for doing stuff, but come on!

When I was a little bitty boy
My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hanging on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

You know, then mama took me to Sunday school
They tried to teach me the golden rule
Everytime that choir would sing
Watch me playin’ with my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard, I heard bells ring
But held on to my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Once, I was swimmin’ ‘cross Turtle Creek
Man, them snappers all around my feet
Sure was hard swimmin’ ‘cross that thing
With both hands holdin’ my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

This little song, it ain’t so sad
The cutest little song you ever had
Those of you who will not sing
You must be playin’ with your own ding-a-ling

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Your own ding-a-ling, your own ding-a-ling
We saw you playin’ with your own ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, everybody sing
I wanna play with my ding-a-ling
I wanna play with my ding-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling by Chuck Berry

Comments 2

  1. If you have an erection lasting over a 100 years seek medical help immediately.

    Okay, I’ll see myself out. 🙂

Leave A Comment?