The Next Apocalypse

In the latest round of speculation about when the world is going to end, Saturday seems to be the day.

It would be a bit of a pain cause I’m quite looking forward to this weekend and, if the Apocalypse is going to happen, I’d rather it got me off work for a bit to be honest.  This warning would appear cut and dried though.

First up, it says so in the Bible – Luke 21: 25 to 26 to be exact.  The passages are:

25: There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.

“26: Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.

Cast your mind back to August, and the solar eclipse in America on 21st, Hurricane Harvey hitting Texas (in America) on 25th and Houston (in Texas, in America) was flooded on 26th.  Of course, if the Apocalypse is coming, it makes sense for the first signs to come from only one religion, in only one country.

Moving away from America but not Christianity, apparently there’s a constellation lining up too.  Revelation 12:1–2 reads:

And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth.

Conspiracy theorists claim the woman in question is Virgo, and on September 23, the sun and moon will be in Virgo, as will Jupiter, now being said to represent the Messiah.

This happens every 12 years, but they claim because of another planetary alignment, representing “the Lion of the tribe of Judah”, it is an unprecedented event foretold in scripture.

According to Telmario Mota, who has represented Brazil’s northernmost state of Roraima in Federal Senate since 2015, that “planetary alignment” might be Planet X, or Nibiru.  Apparently it’s going to appear on Saturday but give us a grace period until October before wiping us out.

Damn it.  I wanted an iPhone X, not a Planet X in October.

There’s no evidence to suggest that a massive planet orbiting the Sun called Nibiru actually exists.  Even NASA say so.

Despite this, an Inuit has said that Earth has tilted on its axis because of interference with its magnetic field caused by Planet X being inside of Mars, even though no-one can see it.

I actually think that the end of the world might actually stem from the US if Donald Trump keeps picking fights with everyone he doesn’t like at the UN.  Hopefully “Rocket Man” is going to leave work early on Friday and also has weekend plans.

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