Too Clever To Date

Now, I’m no expert… I’m rubbish at dating and always found it difficult.

Although I’ve never had any feedback, I think that’s mainly because I approach everyone as if they’re my friends that I’ve known for ages, rather than necessarily finding out about them.  It’s not that conversation is hard, but it’s more in the line of brainless conversation on a night out than trying to sell yourself.

While we were discussing important things at work today, two subjects came up.  The first was whether Jesus really was religious.  The second was an article about some women claiming that they are too clever to find boyfriends.

The crux of the article was about men being intimidated by educated women.  However, there were a few things that I noticed.

First interviewee was 22 year old Natasha Hooper.

Waiting in a bar for a young man a few weeks ago, she ran through possible options, before settling on the subject of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. A surefire way, the 22-year-old undergraduate reasoned, to guarantee an interesting debate.

Yet even more mature men fail to show the requisite enthusiasm for her university projects — which include a radio documentary she recently produced on ‘the pressure that black women are under to adhere to white beauty stereotypes’.

‘I’ll always listen to be polite, but superficial, self-indulgent conversation is an immediate red flag,’ she says.

Next up is Becca Porter, who graduated last year from Manchester University with a joint honours degree in history and sociology, and is now starting a masters in Disability Studies at Leeds University.

‘Our conversations were mundane. When I tried to start an informed discussion — about religion or terrorism, for example — he had no idea how to react.

‘In any case, there’s only so much you can talk about when you do the same job every day.’ [Referring to dating a mechanic.]

Onward to 41 year old Andrea Gould.

During both her degrees — she first studied English and German at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge, then social policy at the same university for an extra ‘challenge’ — she claims male students fell into two camps. ‘There were geeky types into computer games, and leery lads who just wanted to drink and were intimidated by my studious nature,’ she recalls. ‘I didn’t want to be around either.’

A few things struck me.  The first was the subjects of conversation which are what I would call quintessential dating territory – Corbyn, intersectional feminism, religion and terrorism.  I mean, at least three of those are really dangerous subjects and one is just depressing.

The second part was that all three women complained about men seeing themselves as below the women.  Yet, Nicola claimed talking about nights out was “self-indulgent”, Becca said that being skilled as a mechanic is boring and Andrea wanted nothing to do with guys who like games.  It all seemed a little two faced.

The article brought in Dr Elle Boag, a social psychologist at Birmingham City University.  Her comment to finish off the article kind of summed up what I was thinking as I read:

A degree might make you think differently, but it doesn’t make you a better person. As women continue to excel, many might be better off exercising a bit more humility.

Is that not the case with everyone though? I don’t know, I’ve always viewed dating as trying to find someone you want to know more about with a view to a proper relationship.  I never thought there was a need to apportion blame for different interests.

In the car I just can’t wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it’s lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn’t know what to wear?
I’m just scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can’t eat
Let’s go
Don’t wait
This night’s almost over
Honest, let’s make
This night last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
When you smile, I melt inside
I’m not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I’m jealous of everybody in the room
Please don’t look at me with those eyes
Please don’t hint that you’re capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I’m probably gonna miss
Let’s go
Don’t wait
This night’s almost over
Honest, let’s make
This night last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
Let’s go
Don’t wait
This night’s almost over
Honest, let’s make
This night last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
Forever and ever
Let’s make this last forever
First Date by Blink-182

 

Leave A Comment?