I quite enjoy a good mixed metaphor.
You know the sort… You can take a horse to water, but you can’t teach it new tricks. I wouldn’t be caught dead there with a ten-foot pole. He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.
One mixed metaphor appeared in a more literal sense over the weekend as a man nearly died. (Keep with me – he didn’t.)
Twenty eight year old Sam Quilliam was out fishing. He caught a dover sole. For those that don’t know what they look like, they’re not pretty.
The one that Sam caught was 14cm long. It was too small apparently, so he decided to throw it back with his best wishes, which was slightly more risky than he would have anticipated. Apparently he was posing with it as if giving it a kiss, it moved, he gasped and it disappeared down his throat.
I picked it up and went to give it a kiss before I threw it back. I squeezed it and like a bar of soap it jumped out of my hand and into my mouth. It got out of my hands and into my mouth and basically swam straight down my throat.
He went in to cardiac arrest as the fish blocked his airways with his heart stopping for three minutes, and he needed to be rescued by paramedics. Thankfully the friends he were with also did a good job helping him.
Sam has a girlfriend, so I suppose it’s unlikely that some told him that he might need to kiss some frogs and that he got it confused with their being plenty of fish in the sea.