When I go to the football, there’s a chippie that I always stop at on the way.
A bit like in most places where one can be a regular, they’ve begun to know what I want before I ask for it – sausage chips and curry sauce, with a Capri Sun and two fortune cookies.
I get the fortune cookies for two reasons. Firstly, I only ever used to get fortune cookies as part of set meals for two, so it’s kind of a habit to always get two. And the other reason is that two fortune cookies rounds the price up to £4 which makes change easier!
The problem is that I don’t always open / eat the fortune cookies which means I have a lot left.
There’s 24 to be exact.
So… This is kind of as live a post as I can get, because I have no idea at all where it’s going. But I’m going to open them all and see what I get.
- “The respect and help of influential people will soon be yours.” A little ambiguous. I can’t think of many people I know with a great influence in anything. And how soon is “soon”?
- “Every person is the architect of his or her own fortune.” A bit of a cop out that, for a fortune cookie.
- “You will receive a surprise gift very soon.” This begs the question, is the fortune valid from the receipt of the cookie or the opening of it? Has it already happened, or does Father Christmas think I’ve been a good boy this year.
- “A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection.” Four in, twenty to go and I’m already not believing them.
- “Be careful! Bees with honey in their mouths have stings in their tails.” Ah, the psychopath one!
- “Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.” Textbook rubbish, promising things that it can’t deliver.
- “Always surround yourself with true friends.” Again, disappointingly textbook. It’s not wrong I suppose, it’s just a bit obvious.
- “It is much easier to be critical than correct.” Hmm, I think I have a post about this lined up. It is easier to say that someone is wrong than actually saying what the right answer is. I think I’ll give them that one. Good work.
- “Enjoy life! It is better to be happy than wise.” I think I’ve blogged this one before sometime. Am I their inspiration? Anyway, I agree. Wisdom is bourne from experience, but why put yourself in a position where you know you’re going to be unhappy but learn something, when you can be happy and learn something too? A moot point, and pretty good again.
- “A small gift can bring joy to the whole family.” She said. (Sorry, some shocking innuendo was going to appear soon). Still, good news with Christmas coming.
- “Your co-workers take pleasure in your great sense of creativity.” Of course they do – I do their spreadsheets for them when they can’t.
- “A solid challenge will bring forth your finest abilities.” Like my creativity, presumably. I’ve said before that people sometimes kind of lack of creativity, but more generally, when you’re challenged, I guess most people fall back on the things they’re good at.
OK, we’re half way through and we’ve opened all the “Golden Temple” ones. I’d say reasonably good. I’ve tried one of the cookies though. It might have been old. It was definitely awful.
Right, now we’ll move on to the “China Star” ones and I’ll work out how to continue numbering from the last point. Or at my just start at number 1 again.
- “All troubles you have can pass away very quickly.” I think this one is condoning substance abuse, unless substance abuse is your trouble. Don’t like this one.
- “As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment in time.” A bit of filler, not entirely wrong but could have been said without the gold bit.
- “You should be able to undertake and complete anything.” Again, I don’t like these ones that can make you feel bad about not succeeding. Still, I appreciate the disclaimer in the word “should”.
- “A financial investment will yield returns beyond your hopes.” Maybe I need to go buy that engagement ring. Or maybe I just need to fill in that ISA application form that arrived in the post last week.
- “From now on your kindness will lead you to success.” I’m a bit bitter about this considering I was once friend dumped and one of the reasons for that was because I did her washing up.
- “Become who you are.” OK, it’s a thinker, I’ll give them that. Still cliche, though.
- “Sometimes travelling to a new place leads to great transformation.” This is the flip side of what I said to number 9 of the Golden Temple list.
- “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Agreed, learning the lessons.
- “You will win success in whatever you adopt.” Adopt? I’d ask Moo what he thinks about his own adoption by me but since I took that photo he’s been watching Big Bang Theory and I don’t want to interrupt him.
- “Your biggest virtue is modesty.” And creativity? Wow, I must be amazing! Let’s go get that engagement ring.
- “You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment.” Are these two things related?
- “Constant grinding can turn an iron rod in to a needle.” Arguably true but I can’t work out this one? Is it a complicated phrasing of evolving? Don’t know, since both an iron rid and a needle can be useful in different occasions.
That’s the journey through 24 fortune cookies proving that I am, indeed, very fortunate. Seeing as I’ve already done two lists, here’s another to try to make a point from this exercise. Here’s what I learnt.
- Opening and breaking 24 fortune cookies and then unfolding the fortunes has made my thumbs hurt.
- China Star fortune cookies have less structural rigidity than Golden Temple.
- Twenty four fortune cookies, most of which are well past there best before date, don’t smell great.
- Some fortune cookies don’t give fortunes as much as wise words.
- I’ve realised how much I actually dislike short pieces of advice without explanation.
So there we are. I don’t know if that’s achieved anything other than clearing some clutter from my desk.