Hey, so it’s struck me that there’s been a common theme to the last few weeks’ worth of this particular type of post, and that’s that I’ve been saying I want coffee.
For some reason, whatever reason, I’ve been tired the last few weeks. In some instances, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. My candle may well be longer than most other people’s and I lead a far from rock and roll lifestyle, but somehow I don’t get as much sleep as I should.
And yet sometimes I have been getting eight hours a night, even on consecutive nights, but it’s not doing much good. I know that my sleep on some of those nights is quite restless; I remember one night stroking Moo (my cat) while being more or less properly asleep as well doing a lot of tossing and turning. Other nights I’ve slept quite well, I think.
The reason I’m really posting this is that I can’t work out the chicken and egg scenario with the other way I’m feeling at the moment, because I only seem to maintain motivation on one thing at a time. I know there’s all those cliches about men not being able to multitask, so to try to explain what I mean, let me give you an example.
I want to redecorate my living room. I’ve never liked it – there are too many colours done in a way that just looks like too many colours rather than it being chic or cool. I’ve done all the planning for the new look, from the new fireplace I want, how I’m going to do the shelving, paint, curtains, lighting, even the clock. I’ve enjoyed all that. I’ve got some bits to do before I start, like getting quotes for the fireplace but now the planning is done, I’ve not been able to put my head on to anything else.
Occasionally I’ll have a few hours at work where I hit the zone, but then it’ll go. It’s not the only thing I get bored of either, because I really enjoy a car racing simulator on the PlayStation so I played that before but only did 6 laps before getting bored of it.
I feel like I have no motivation, so I’ve tried writing lists to work through, but I just keep rearranging the lists. I’m looking for excuses not to do something, and then I’ll look for an excuse not to do the next thing. Even when it comes to housework, I know no-one particularly likes it but I’ve been looking at robotic vacuums this week because I have no inclination to actually do the vacuuming, and it only takes me minutes.
I’m feeling very run down, like I need a break, but it hasn’t been long since I’ve been on holiday (even if it wasn’t the most relaxing one). I feel like I need a kick start and that that probably shouldn’t just be coffee.