The Coffee With The Returning Memories And Missing

Hey, if we were having a coffee this week, mine might be strong in an attempt to use up some beans.  I’m travelling with work for a bit from tomorrow, and it’s triggered a mixture of emotions if I’m being honest.

I remember the last time I left the US.  I was ridiculously happy and relieved.  It was after the first time I was told that I might be losing my job and I had the choice of doing the Russian project or the US one.  I went for the US because Russia wasn’t really a country that I wanted to commit time to having never been before and having not just language difference but alphabet difference.  Having no idea how to pronounce a word even vaguely, let alone what it means, just felt a little too hard for what I wanted at the time.

I did not rate the guy I was working for at all.  He’d been promoted far too fast off the back of some qualities that not many could see.  I remember him sitting me down the morning I was leaving to come home and him telling me that I could work US hours while in the UK, “so if you could start at 10am, that would be good.” I bet it would.  Reminding him of the 5 hour time difference he amended his suggestion by 1 hour.

But, whatever.  I’d already had a phone call with an old boss and I knew I wouldn’t be going back.  I loved the city and most of the people, but regular long haul drains me and not having to do it was a definite bonus.

A good few years prior I’d already done 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off between home and America.  It only equated to 9 or 10 trips if memory serves but it was taxing.  It was one of those things where I didn’t actively feel it, but my body began to give me a few signs that it wasn’t overly happy.

I was a mess before that first trip.  I used to get travel sick, it was my first time out of Europe and it was for three weeks out of a suitcase.  It seemed a long time to miss my life at home and I didn’t want to go.

This trip is kind of bringing back some memories.  I was watching The Newsroom the other night and they were breaking news of Bin Laden being killed.  I remember that.  I was in the airport when we were hearing whispers and I jumped on Twitter to get the news.  This trip is taking me back to that time, and the time before my job defined what feels like an enormous chunk of my adult life.

I suppose it’s kind of the change that has happened since.  There were times that I miss greatly and times that I would love to happen again.  Unfortunately, somehow, I seem to be focussing on that which is no more without realising that there were the positives since.

I still struggle with missing things.  I don’t want to feel the sadness and I can see the positives of the experiences and the time I had, but when there is still a glimmer, not doing anything about it sucks.

This is fairly standard for me before any trip, though, whether it be work or holiday.  I never really want to go.  This is only two weeks and I’m sure I’ll miss the cat but I’m also pretty sure that I’ll survive.

I am trying to remember the logistics of two weeks of travel, though.  I’m not sure that I have two weeks’ worth of work clothes for a start!  I have travel money.  I’ve booked my taxi.  The hotel website says they have ironing boards in the room, so I’m not going to bother ironing before I go.  I even have travel toiletries (which I never do), but only because I got them “free” with something else.  I’ve updated my iPad (I use mine a lot at work) and even got a Netflix trial account so I can download some TV programs for the plane.

At home, I’ve made sure that Moo has enough food and someone to give it to him.  I’ve moved my Echo Dot in to the living room thinking that I might be able to say hello to him but I think it might just freak him out! I’ve done a big clean so that I’m not getting home to too much that needs doing.  In theory, everything should be sorted (other than putting everything in my suitcase), but it’s still stressing me a bit.

It might be the wrong word to say to help me get “organised” because I think a little bit of “motivated” needs to be in there too, but I’ve ordered a Full Focus Planner to see if can use my time better.  They’re expensive and they cost the same again to get them sent to the UK, so I got it sent to a colleague’s place in America and I’ll pick up next week.  I’ve tried to do this sort of thing before and not really succeeded but I’ve been in full “Put It Off Till Later” mode for a while and I need to not be.

I’ve seen the same cyclist twice on my way in to work this week.  First time he was pulling a wheelie on the footpath facing oncoming traffic, and really struggling.  I stopped and watched him because I could honestly see him coming off, to which he made sure to give me the finger.  The next day he was on the road cycling against oncoming traffic but I think that he was that out of control that he didn’t have time to flick the bird as I went past.

I ended up not playing football this week.  I’d felt a bit wishy-washy all day and just couldn’t be bothered.  I thought going might perk me up but it was lashing it down and for the benefit of the rest of my week I thought an early night might be better.

Yesterday I did some gardening.  There was a self seeded tree growing in my path.  Rather than discard it, I’ve moved it in to the garden.  I’m not sure it will take, but other than put it in a hole I can’t think of much more that I would have needed to do.

I went to a friend’s birthday BBQ last night.  He cooks on a gas BBQ and it’s not right for me, but it was still an enjoyable evening.  It felt remarkable unstressful.  All the food was done at once, his kids went to bed without argument and everyone left after Match Of The Day.  I’m not sure if that means we’re all getting old or not!

In Pokémon this week (a clear sign that, in some aspects, I’m actually getting younger) I got a Regirock and also reached over 100 trades.

Anyway, I guess I need to put some things in my case.  I expect to still speak to you next week.  Until then.

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