A Slightly Soiled Round The Edges White Lie

The second part of two posts about lying. I lie too, and sometimes I realise it can be for the best of intentions. Sometimes I just wish I knew what the intentions were!


 

Have you ever told a white lie? I think everyone has.  They’re the type of lies that are usually pretty harmless and are to protect the feelings of others.

Has it ever really badly backfired on you?!  The very person you were trying to protect takes the lie and thinks less of you not because you’ve lied (they don’t know you have) but because of the content of the lie?

Say there’s two of you working through a list of jobs.  It’s split evenly but the other person needs to get away to see a friend and has asked if you’ll help out with their half of the list, asking if you can do one specific job for them.

You agree, do the job, but you’ve already finished all your jobs so you help out some more.  You do it cause you know it will help out your partner and because you think it will make them happy because they can now go to see their friend in the time you’ve saved them.  You think you’ve been a good friend or a good colleague.

You tell them that you’ve done the job and they thank you and you can tell that they’re probably pleased on a superficial level, but inside you know that they’re personally disappointed because they now think people see them as not being able to cope, which was the very thing you were trying to help with.  They don’t object to what you’ve done, per se, but their weakness has been spotted.

So you make an excuse that you had the time on your hands and you needed to do that job cause it would actually help you out – it would help you learn something for a job you need to do next week, for example.  There’s precedent because you’ve done something similar before, genuinely, making it believable.  You were doing it for your benefit, not your partner’s.  You tell the white lie.

However, then your partner starts to question how you’re going about doing what you need to do next week.  “But that has nothing to do with that job.  If that’s how you’re going about it, you’re doing it all wrong and you should go to someone else to get help cause you’re seriously going to screw up.”

All of a sudden, you’ve gone from doing a selfless deed cause you can and it would help someone out, to them taking personal offence and thinking you’re thick as too short planks.

Ain’t Karma a bitch?!

I don’t know where you are or what you wanna do
It seems so these days I’m losing out on you
You come home so late, I don’t know where you been
I wanna hold you tight but you make me wanna scream

Oh, so now we’re fighting in the streets
I can’t breathe cos I don’t believe what you say
No, your white lies don’t protect me
Be honest with me, it’s all we can be to sustain

I drove around all morning,
Thinking of starting again
Turning my back on a good thing
I turned the car round instead

No, your white lies don’t protect me
Be honest with me, it’s all we can be to sustain
Oh so no more fighting in the streets
I can’t breathe, cos I don’t believe what you say

No, your white lies don’t protect me
Be honest with me, it’s all we can be to sustain
Oh so no more fighting in the streets
I can’t breathe, if I don’t see you again

White Lies by Stereophonics

Comments 2

  1. This post is great and speaks to something so relatable…as they say, “no good deed goes unpunished”. It can be so hard to navigate relationships (of any kind…personal, professional etc). What makes it less daunting is being able to talk about these kinds of things; and to have the experiences normalized, and for us to be validated when someone assures us that they know our hearts are in the right place…your heart is in the right place 🙂 Thanks for sharing…I’ve connected to what you shared, and that is a gift you’ve given me 🙂

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