Old Flames

Ain’t relationships just the most funny things?

Unless you are a complete narcissist, the chances are that you invest a lot of emotional time and energy in to the relationships you have with other people.  To be fair, a narcissist would do this too, just not for the “right” reasons of the rest of us.

The chances are that you’ve shared a lot of time and memories with that person and well, you have a history.

Yet, for whatever reason, you went your separate ways.  But what for reconnecting with an old flame and making your paths converge once more?

I have a friend who had a childhood sweetheart.  They’d been a couple for well in to double figures of years, but split up. Years went by where they weren’t not friends but were more distant.  Then they started to get closer again, culminating in a 30th birthday party exactly 9 months and 1 week after which their first child was born.  Second child arrived an unscheduled three years later, by which I mean she wasn’t planned to arrive so soon, not that it was an exceptionally pregnancy! Fifteen years later, they’re still together and more happy than ever.

I’m sure that there’s a saying somewhere about having to test the limits of something, or breaking it so you know how far it can go and then rebuilding it stronger.  I can’t think of either at the moment, unfortunately! (Although when I broke collarbone I was told that it would heal stronger than it was before, come to think of it.)

But is there sometimes a case for looking at a relationship with a fresh pair of eyes? Maybe without the pressures of the past with other changed circumstances? Could going back be the start of a brilliant new relationship rather than the continuation of one that didn’t quite work out first time?

You knew in five minutes,
But I knew in a sentence
You knew in five minutes,
But I knew in a sentence

So why do we go through all of this again?
Your eyes are flutterin’
Such pretty wings.
A moth, flyin’ into the
Same old flame again
It never ends

It’s not like I dropped the bomb,
on my conscience mom
It takes fightin’ day and night
to make such a good thing die

Out, everyone out
I give too much shit at home
In my heart and mind
It gets me every time

So why do we go
Through all this shit again
Your eyes are Flutterin’
Such pretty wings.
A moth flyin’ into me
The same old flame again
It never ends

Old Flame by Arcade Fire


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