Forced Metaphors : Britain’s Best Biscuit

Britain’s Best Biscuit has been revealed after a nationwide vote on Channel 5, and the results are not really anything to argue over.

The Best Dunking Biscuit is the ginger nut.  This goes without saying.  The structural integrity of the biscuit ensures a proper soak with limited risk of sloppage.  But I think the best bit is that the complementary flavours of coffee and ginger means that even of does break off, it still makes your brew better.

The overall winner, though, is the chocolate digestive.  It’s simple, but it’s quite brilliant.  My regular portion size is at least 12.

In fact, though, is the humble chocolate digestive quite as simple as I said?

The vote has sparked the debate about which side is the top – the chocolate side of the plain side.  It’s even difficult for me to make a personal decision.  I eat them chocolate down because I think it gives better flavour, but I’ll place them plain side down because it doesn’t make as much mess.

A biscuit factory manager settled the debate once and for all (apparently) on the Channel 5 show, explaining that Digestives are fed, branded side up, into a machine that slides the bottom half of the biscuits through a ‘chocolate reservoir’ during production.

I wondered whether I could force a metaphor for something being anything you want it to be.  The whole package is there and it doesn’t really make a difference which you believe is the top or the bottom as long as you’re happy with it.

Not only is it the best as a biscuit, but it’s also contains a rather tenuous life lesson!

As an aside, I don’t actually think that the best biscuit has been made yet.  I’m a big fan of caramel chocolate digestives, but think that if they made chocolate caramel hobnobs, those would be amazing.

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